So Transferable

A brilliant demonstration, that is what it was. Years ago, I attended a series of Kaplan workshops on Cooperative Learning. On our last Professional Development Day, the Principal demonstrated one of those techniques for us. She asked us to number ourselves, then made us read a section of an article (based on our number), and finally we were to communicate with teachers who had gotten other numbers what our section was about. It seemed great.

For an unknown reason, I must have left my critical and analytical skills at home that day, because I failed to see the flaw in her demonstration. I left the meeting wondering if I could use the technique to make my students get more involved in reading the material. As a good little soldier, I tried to replicate the experience in my classroom. It failed to produce satisfactory results.

First, I blamed myself for not being able to do this. I must be an idiot. Then, my eyes opened to what I should have seen that day when the Principal used TEACHERS as participants in the little demonstration. Teachers, for the most part, comply with direct orders from their Principal. We read our section, we stood in line where she told us to go, we shared our discoveries with other teachers.

Students (particularly my middle school students) do not listen to directions, so they had no idea what was required of them. Writing the directions on the board for them, telling them what to do, repeating the same information 20 times (the second you are done answering Johnny's question, Mary asks the EXACT SAME question), it does not help.

After giving students the time to read a section of the text, I asked them to now join a student who had another number and explain what their section was about. They looked at me with an expression in their eyes that conveyed this message: "What? You seriously expected us to READ this section? I did let my eyes go over the page, but for a strange reason no cognitive activity took place." However, they enjoyed the chance I was giving them to talk with a classmate. They were talking about anything BUT the subject at hand.

I do not blame my Principal. She means well. We, the teachers, are to blame (but what else is new?). For a more realistic experience, we should have acted like middle school kids when she attempted the demonstration. We should have asked her to repeat the directions 20 times, failed to read the section, refused to stand in line, and used the opportunity to gossip with our colleagues. Of course, she would have gone crazy. Welcome to our world.

So Envious

You see them on the road. They drive cars that look EXTREMELY similar to law enforcement vehicles. They might have strobe lights behind the windshield. They have a spotlight attached next to the side view mirror. They might dress like cops, even carry a badge or ID that might lead you to believe they're actual law enforcement officers. I am referring to wanna-be cops, of course.

What is so special about that profession that so many people want to pretend being a police officer? Do other professions have wanna-bees? Are there fake mail carriers out there? Do fake restaurant managers come to your table and ask you if you need a refill? Do people don scrubs and a stethoscope and hang out near hospitals? Ever seen a guy wearing a white wig and a black robe in the hopes of being taken for a judge (other than for Halloween, of course)? Yes, I know many people who wear NFL jerseys, but none of them tries to make you believe they actually ARE the player whose name is on the back.

So, why are so many people attempting to display expertise in education who have absolutely ZERO training, degree, or classroom experience? They all seem to think that they would do a much better job if they were in my shoes. Of course, none of them would actually want to be in my shoes, face a bunch of kids all day, not be able to use the restroom when they want, or earn my salary. If there are wannabe-teachers, why do we not give them the chance to live their dream? Who needs to know anything about educational psychology, pedagogy, assessment and evaluation, addressing the needs of ESL or ESE students, or even the subject matter?

Starting Monday morning, I shall cease to discuss the quarterback's every game decision. I might still wear his jersey, though. A team needs support, not constant criticism. This goes for your child's school as well.