So Unionized

So, before we address the results of lengthy bargaining sessions between our union and the school district, I would like to tell you about an episode of Netflix's first season of Orange Is The New Black.

In this episode, the warden organizes elections for inmates to pick representatives. He then invites those representatives in his office to hear their concerns and suggestions. He starts the meeting by offering them doughnuts, then asks them to state their concerns. He takes copious notes, then states that implementing measures to improve things under the current budget would mean that he could not afford to bring doughnuts at meetings anymore. Everyone then understands that nothing will change and that the election and the committee were just a way for the warden to give inmates the illusion they were being heard.

Now, I believe I wanted to talk about the bargaining sessions between the union and the district... Or did I just do that? Sometimes I can be so easily distracted...

So Stereotypical

Very soon, our Superintendent will go head a smaller district to the north of us. Everyone keeps pretending it is all very natural for people to leave a high paying job for a less-high paying job, so I shall just ignore my natural instinct to imagine nasty reasons why he would have had to resign.

Our New Superintendent

Our school board picked a successor already. It was communicated to the plebs by releasing white smoke from the chimney at the district offices. Their pick is an Italian dude who used to teach in Orlando, decided he wanted to rise through the ranks, and ended up at the helm of Fulton County schools in Georgia. The guy, among all his degrees and certifications, holds a BS in Behavior Disorders. I kid you not. No surprise then that he was chosen to lead the asylum for demented clowns that is the SDPBC.

If we are to believe Italian stereotypes, parents better pay their kids' lunches on time, or else...
There is also a likelihood that pizza and spaghetti will be featured more often on the menu. The dress code for students will now include Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci. Teacher work rooms will feature espresso machines instead of the sad old drip ones. At parent/teacher conferences, expect all teachers to smoke cigarettes and to utter things like "thatsa spicy meatball!" or "shadappaya face!" They might also sport a mustache and wear overalls.

I can't wait for the day our new leader will park his Lamborghini at the Taj and start making us offers we can't refuse.

So Cryptic

Please let me know if you studied the crowded field of cryptology in college. I need to find someone to help me figure out how much I'll be making next year. The union and the district have resorted to a method once used by the Catholic Church to make sure that simple peons would have no clue about what was really going on. The Church used Latin to keep knowledge restricted to only a few. The District and the union are using a "fractionalized schedule" with arrows and color codes that make it almost impossible to understand what is being discussed.

If I don't understand anything about it, then it must be quite tough for a teacher moving into Florida from another state to figure out exactly how much she or he will be making here. Of course, it makes no sense to move into Florida from another state if you are a teacher, but sometimes people come here to be closer to their aging parents. Those teachers should understand that the step number has nothing to do with how many years they have been teaching. Those teachers should also familiarize themselves with VAM scores and Marzano's DQ (Dairy Queen) numbers. Then they can write a letter to their aging parents letting them know that they better learn how to use Skype if they want to stay in touch.

So Airy

The Test has arrived, and it is a new Test. You might say it is the Second Coming of the FCAT. Of course, all seven prophecies have been accomplished, and now, after 1,260 days spent by the two witnesses (the Test Administrator and the Proctor) to prepare for this moment, the Beast will finally ascend out of the bottomless pit.

There were signs that this day was coming. Diagnostic tests showed that the network failed to have the bandwidth required. Students could not log in. Essays were erased as by magic. Cryptic messages appeared on the screen ("Do you want to kill this page?"). Those of us who are well versed in the ancient texts tried to warn the Administration, the District, the State, but nobody wanted to hear our cries.

As students willingly march toward computer labs to experience the Great Tribulation, our excellencies sitting in their offices at the great Babylonian temple of Forrest Hill Boulevard will feel the wrath of God. Jeb the great deMagog will have to confess that his ideas on education were all a ploy to divert public funds into private pockets. AIR will be filled with the stench of corruption that brought this juicy little contract its way.

Please do not try to find ALL the answers to your questions in here. For example, it is not clear to me which of Johnson, Hernandez, or Marzano was the false messiah. I just hope one of those got you on your knees to repent. You will note that I did not include our current superintendent in this list, as he may have gotten people on their knees for other reasons than to repent...

So Compliant

After posting the latest entry, I realized that I had not posted anything since last October. What happened? The elections happened in November, and our governor won a reelection. To me, that meant a lot. When people elect someone new, you may argue that they did not know, that they were fooled. However, when they have the chance to see that person lead us for four years and decide that he or she should get a second term, it is a clear message that they liked what they saw.

In the first election four years ago, Florida voters had already disregarded the fact that Scott had defrauded Medicare of millions of dollars. This time, they had his record as Governor to look at before casting their ballots. Florida voters decided that Rick Scott needed to be given four more years.

In the light of that election, I did not get angry or frustrated. I reminded myself of the fact that I am a civil servant, an employee of the State of Florida, that I took an oath to serve my country and my state. If a majority of voters likes Rick Scott's policies, who am I to contradict them? I am not arrogant enough to argue that I know what is best and that the majority of people is wrong.

Let me be very clear: even though I KNOW that by following Scott's policies of defunding public schools to benefit private institutions, we are failing a whole generation of kids who will be ill-prepared for tomorrow's challenges, I believe that I must obey the mandate given to me by their parents. They clearly indicated to me through their vote what they want for their children. Whether I agree it is a good idea or not is irrelevant. I work for this State, and they made Rick Scott my boss. If Scott told me to teach students that Ronald Reagan was our first president and that he rode a velociraptor to and from the White House, I would gladly do it. All that ancient stuff about the colonies or the Civil War is boring my kids anyway.

Please check Jason Heuser's other amazing drawings of our presidents on the Deviant Art website.

So Coveted

Started watching the Academy Awards tonight. Movies can be watched by anybody, so when professionals vote to recognize their peers with an Oscar, it all makes sense.

What does NOT make sense is when teachers are asked to nominate one of their colleagues to receive one of those teacher awards. I have rarely seen another teacher at my school teach. It is a sad truth that we lack the time to sit and to observe other teachers. I bet we could learn a lot by doing so.

Teachers getting awards, then, must be popular with their colleagues, but not because they are good at educating children. They are nice to other people, get involved in committees, write curriculum, things like that. Maybe they ARE good teachers also. I actually believe that most teachers are doing a fantastic job. Singling out a few of them every year for an award at least reminds the public that teachers are there, working hard.

My award does not come in the shape of a statuette, though. My award is not an object. It is a kind word from a student or a thank you from a former student. Those are the prizes I cherish. Oh, and by the way, for you red carpets commentators and fashion police, tonight I'm wearing The Gap.

So Disastrous

So, the month of October is almost over, and most of it has been wasted on the altar of Testing again.

Our administrators are too busy to create a schedule that would allow teachers to see all their classes every day, so testing canceled the same two periods every day of the month, except for exams week. For teachers whose planning time falls during one of those two periods, well, too bad. "Comp' time" is being offered to compensate them.

Remind me why we are doing this again? Oh, yes, so that students and teachers know what to expect when the "real" test will be happening. Will we be better prepared to handle computer issues, software glitches, power outages, just because we have seen it all unfold this month? Oh, but not to worry, there is another one of those "diagnostic testing" months planned for the winter. We wasted a full month now, then we shall waste another in the winter, and finally a third one for the "real thing." Three months out of ten. Next year just as this year, our principal will open the first faculty meeting with this question: "How come our students are not making learning gains the way they should?"

Don't you DARE blame testing conditions, the test itself (if it was created by one of Jeb's friends, its validity must not be questioned), or the wasted instructional time. You and I KNOW who is to blame: those overpaid, lazy teachers. If a construction builder was told to build a house with 70% of the materials and in 70% of the time it usually takes, he would tell you to f*** off. Teachers don't act like this. Teachers are to remain civil and polite, because we all know that education is not about us: it's ALL ABOUT THE CHILDREN.